I wanted to be with You
as You fell down to pray
but there were so many things
that kept me very far away.
Things like pride and anger,
things like plain old fear.
But I am so glad to know
that You were praying for me there.
I wanted to be with You
when your friend turned You in,
I saw the soldier with drawn sword,
my little bit of courage wore thin.
I was held back by pride and anger
and just plain old fear.
But when you faced Judas’ kiss
I saw compassion shine so clear.
(how did I miss this?)
I wanted to be with You
to defend You at that trial,
making waves and speaking out
but you know that’s not my style.
I cowered in pride and anger
and just plain old fear
I was no help to You
Had my own burden to bear.
as they led You up that road.
that cross that You carried
should have been my heavy load.
But I couldn’t bear the suffering
and tortured agony
yet, You walked the walk I couldn’t walk,
each step you took for me.
I wanted to be with You
but I’m not good enough, I guess.
Still You carried on alone
even when I had to rest.
You took all my failures
that had stopped me in my tracks
as you walked up to Golgotha, my weight across your back.
You took all these things that held me down,
my pride and anger and fear
You took them with You on that cross
and I’m so sorry that You were there,
so sorry that I couldn’t share,
so sorry.
And yet, somehow glad that You were there
so glad that You truly care
for me.
I wanted to be with You
yet all the time
You were there with me.