It’s late at night and the words just won’t come. I’m not even sure what to pray for anymore. It’s been the same prayers for several years now and I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing it right. Maybe I need better words, a more sincere heart…I don’t know…
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Romans 8:26
Still, things are not moving as quickly as I would like and my thoughts, like an impatient child, start to take off on little road trips of their own. I wish they would stick to the path that You have put before me but they wander and allow circumstantial winds to blow them this way and that like so many scraps of paper.
And I find myself clinging to the hem of His robe (Luke 8:44-46)
Standing by the side of the well – utterly confused (John 4: 1-16)
Watching Him writing in the sand as my life hangs in the balance
And I wonder if He is even listening (John 8:1-11)
So here I am again, Lord, hanging on, confused, waiting for you to stand up and move mountains. I know you can. I know I cannot. I know that you have heard this all before and yet I dare to ask that You would listen one more time.
I’m Martha wondering why you didn’t come right away. (John 11:21)
I’m Gideon asking for more proof. (Judges6:17-18, 37)
I’m Moses making excuses even in the midst of Your Glory. (Exodus 4)
I call out without even knowing the words. I am down to a stripped-down prayer of “Lord, I will follow You.” Maybe that’s where you want me. My obedience meets His Grace at a rock bottom level.
He lifted me up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Psalm 40:2
And then when He knows that He finally has my attention, He lifts me up above my doubts and fears, all those questions that do nothing more than distract me from Him.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
Habbakuk 3:19
“Lord, I’ll follow You”, I whisper, as I cling to the hem of His robe. I remember the times that You have lifted me up before and know that you are already holding out your hands to me just waiting for me to have the courage to look up.
When you’ve played out
Your last chance
And your directions
Have all been lost
When the roads that you look down
Are all dead ends
Look up
You could see if you’d just look up
You’re on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
You’re on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see
You’re on the verge of a miracle
Verge of a Miracle by Rich Mullins
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31