Today is my birthday – a milestone birthday. One of those birthdays that you are both excited about and dread it’s coming at the same time. This is the big 6-0 birthday and I find myself both looking forward and becoming retrospective.
On the plus side, many grocery stores offer a senior discount on Tuesdays and the local craft store often has 60 and over coupons that I can finally use. I no longer have to worry about forgetting people’s names because as a member of the grey brigade, I am allowed to forget and no one gets too uptight about it. People will make excuses for you and finally start to accept you as you are. You’ll hear yourself described as “colorful” or “she’s led such an interesting life”, for the same things that made you an irresponsible dreamer forty years ago. Funny how things balance out.
On the other hand, there are those gray hairs and wrinkles and when the doctor asks me where does it hurt, I have to write out a list to read so I don’t forget all the bizarre places that are aching.
I don’t remember where I read it (I’m old, you know, deal with it), but someone wrote about loving the colors of fall because the leaves age so beautifully. I really need to hear that because in today’s society, it’s so easy to get caught up in a youth culture that fears aging.
While I may not find the grays, the wrinkles and the extra pounds physically beautiful, I’m realizing that the lessons I am learning have a different beauty all their own. A beauty that is spiritual. A beauty that stands outside of time.
I have learned, and am still learning, patience. I have found many things that are worth waiting for – like taking time to develop relationships,
making time for long walks,
or waking up in time to see a sunrise and still slowing down enough to enjoy the sunset of the same day.
I am developing an empathy and compassion that is much wider than that of my self-centered youth and springs from patience.
I am walking with a faith that has become a quiet bedrock to base my life upon, but also, a springboard for action when needed.
A birthday prayer – Thank you Lord, for calling me to yourself. I would not have chosen the paths that you laid for me, but looking back, I can see that your hand of guidance was always with me. So, Lord, let me live my senior years with the vividness of fall leaves on a crisp autumn day. Let me enjoy the gentle breezes as much as the strong gusts of winds and not question where they send me. Let me live with a vibrancy and beauty that is deeper than the rich green of my early spring ever was.
that cocoon around himself? Is he surprised when he finds himself unable to move yet can feel something happening? As he finally, shakes off the last of the cocoon and sits in the sunlight to dry, does he wonder what those strange appendages on his back are all about? And as those wings dry, how does he know that they will lift him up into the air and he will no longer crawl among the leaves for food but flit among flowers whose colors as dazzling as his own?
Yes, I know the straight answer – it’s instinct. The same thing that causes a bird to build a nest in spring or a frog to sink into the mud in fall. Natural triggers such as the temperature of the air or the amount of sunlight cause these behaviors that God has programmed into them. What I am asking is this: do they have an awareness that something glorious will come out of it? I wonder if they do. They are, after all, just following the strong basic instincts year after year that ensure the survival of thier species.
through consequences and possible results. I recently have had such a time in my life. The job that I loved had ended but I stayed on through some major changes in which I was able to help. After two years, I could see the time had come to leave but it would cause some major shifts in my personal life. My prayer throughout those two years were, “Lord, let me follow where ever you lead me. I don’t need to know the destination, just keep me on the path that you have already laid out for me.” I can tell you from experience, that this is one of the scariest prayers you will ever pray! A lot of things that were happening didn’t make sense to me, but I followed. My job was becoming more and more uncomfortable and the stress was having it’s affect on me. Still, I waited on God’s timing for whatever would happen. And when God did move – it was big!
So last night I found myself at dinner with some old and dear friends, listening to them talk about their retirement plans which would begin in less than a year. When the conversation turned to me, I told them that I was starting a new chapter with a whole new career. I have even signed up at the local community college for a course on Saturday mornings that will sharpen my computer skills to help me ease into my new job. Here I am with retirement in sight, and God is leading me in a totally new direction! I feel as though I have been cocooned for the past year and am now shaking off the old and stepping out with new wings that I didn’t even realize God was growing for me. Stepping out in a new direction is all about trusting God and letting go of your own plans. The really cool thing about God is that He doesn’t have just one miraculous change planned for you. As you lean more and more into Him, He will continue to bring in new challenges and opportunities, unfurling more and more of the path ahead of you. It’s an ongoing process that continues throughout your earthly life but only as you continue to hold His hand and follow His direction. I’m experiencing true growth as I reach each milestone that He has laid for me.
just a day trip. I’ve always needed to plug into the waves and surf, the smell of suntan lotion and the cry of gulls. Only then can I turn my attention to the cooler nights and frosty mornings that lie ahead. Summer has to include salt air, sea shells and sandy feet to feel complete.
down the boardwalk holding hands with my hubby. I remain a Jersey Girl in my heart. I can still protect my pizza from the gulls and collect shells on the beach. I can enjoy saltwater taffy and not worry about what the salt air is doing to my hair. This broken heart is somehow full because of my children who are with me. Seeing them walk thru the door or just hearing their voices on the phone lifts me out of any depression that I might be struggling with.
I wanted to be with You
I just couldn’t be brave that day.
You took all these things that held me down,
movie and the tradition has carried down to the next generation. It’s one of those epic stories of an underdog who rises to be a hero and a God who saves His suffering people. It’s only as an adult and reading the story in its original form in the biblical book of Exodus that I am starting to pick up on all the nuances of this incredible event that will form the bedrock of Hebrew society and later Christianity.
God’s original covenant with Abram was that He would make a great nation out of Abrams’ family. God promised land and blessings to this nation/family that would, in turn, bless the world. And then God set about creating relationship between Himself and the people of Israel. All He asked in return was their obedience.
