enelsonblog

not a clue, as usual


Leave a comment

a Faith that moves mountains

 

 

mullins faith quote

Every time that I read a quote from the late Rich Mullins, I think to myself, “That is sooo good, he really nailed it with that one.” But this is probably my favorite one. It speaks of faith, just faith.

“If faith is all we have, then maybe faith is all we need.”

 (from Wounds of Love by Rich Mullins)

 

I’ve seen God move incredible mountains in my life. Sometimes I thought those mountains weren’t going to move. I had cowered in their shadow for so long, that I figured they were just part of the backdrop of my life. But God does move the mountains when we come to him with nothing but faith and empty hands that don’t need to hold onto anything because they are stretched out in faithful prayer.

Those same hands have held onto a lot of anger over the years. I was mad at things that had happened, words that had been said to me and words that I had said to others. I was mad at circumstances that had formed boundaries around my thoughts. I was mad at God for the things that He had allowed to happen to me. When I began to seriously follow Christ, the hardest lesson for me was the one on forgiveness. I have long since stopped working on that one and now try to rely on prayer.

I have nothing but a simple faith that if this is something that God says I need to do, then He will enable me to do it. What I have found is that when push came to shove and I needed to act in a forgiving manner, I was stunned to realize that it wasn’t just an “act” anymore. I was no longer holding that anger that had taken over so much of every waking hour. It just wasn’t there any longer. It had been wiped away, as far away as the east is from the west. I don’t remember a moment when the weight had been lifted, but suddenly when I thought that I would have to put on my best happy face and fake it, my face was truly joyful. I had been praying for a long time that God would teach me how to forgive. What I found was that God had lifted the resentment from my soul without my even realizing it. He had taken away the sting that anger can put into words so that when I spoke to the object of my anger – the anger was gone and only love was left. Sorry to be sounding so preachy and outright corny but I don’t know of any other way to put this. I was able to forgive when the moment came.

So am I the queen of forgiveness now? I Wish I could say “yes” to that, but the answer is a great big fat “No”. Anger is one of those mountains that I let grow to astounding heights and it won’t be knocked down overnight. God will chip away at it slowly and patiently, only teaching me lessons as he makes me open to them.

As I watched my husband turn over the soil in our gardens last weekend, I saw him repeatedly bend down to throw aside the rocks that had worked their way to the surface over the freeze and thaw of winter. Every year there will be rocks and my husband will patiently toss them aside. I can’t help but wonder how many times that God has done this for me. Constantly tilling the soil of my life while tossing the hard, cold stones of anger, bitterness and resentment that result from an unforgiving spirit. I know that this will be an ongoing battle because every time I find myself in a position of being hurt, I find my anger slipping back in – every single time!

I have nothing but faith.

Faith that God will continue to knock down those mountains that block my vision.

Faith that God will love me even when I allow hate and anger to get foothold.

Faith that He can take the corners of my life and shake me out of those angry traps that I allow myself to get caught up in.

Faith that He will lift me over the mountains so that I can see the wonders that He has for me.

I don’t need the easy answers that say, “Just let go of it”.  I need the faith to pray, “Lord, lift me above it” and keep praying that prayer daily. It gets easier, never really easy, but definitely easier, because I now live in a world where my anger is met with Love.

                 In faith, I can see a larger world that truly is full of wonder and leaves me free to wonder.mountains and flowers

 

Advertisements


Leave a comment

Where is my heart, Lord?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

different heart

Where is my heart, Lord?

 

trapped down here on earth?

weighted by grief and sorrows

knotted with fears and worries                                     heart and arrow

bleeding from the arrows

of a thousand angry foes?

 

Where is my heart, Lord?

 

hardened and scarred?                                                         images (2)

covered over for protection

with layers of false bravado

that have every intention

to mimic your perfection?

 

Where is my heart, Lord?

 

heart leavesI give it to You, Lord.

You’re all I need and more

giving me feet to run, hands to serve

and a heart that beats with wings that soar

over and above a world at war.

All these things are true

of the heart I give to you.

Where is my heart,Lord?

It is resting in You.


Leave a comment

Why Worry?

dog worries My dog used to look at me with those big brown eyes and this same expression on his face all the time. I really miss that dog. He had a lot to teach me and I guess I didn’t learn the lessons very well. Dogs don’t worry, they know that they can trust their master. I need a little of that.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what

P1010770

sparrows gathered under the feeders to eat the seed that has spilled on the ground

you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

P1000791

hummingbird feeding on cana lily

 

 

 

cast all anxieties25Who of you by worrying can add

a single hour to your life.

 Since you cannot do this very little thing,

why do you worry about the rest?

 

27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

P1010913

spring daffodils

28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!

P1010402

summer irises

 

29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. hearts33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Luke 12:22-34

 

 

The birds and the flowers of my own backyard are proving to be the best medicine for my restless thoughts – imagine what I save in therapy with just a few feeders and a bag of birdseed! Here’s a nickel’s worth of free advice – let the wonder of creation wash away the worries of the world.

worry on beach

I do wish I lived a bit closer to the ocean – those waves can wash anything away. 

 

 


Leave a comment

Wandering Hearts

in God's heart

He will be our guide even to the end.  Psalm 48:14b

All I need to do is follow

what I ought to do is stay

yet every glittery billboard

causes me to lose my way

 

all I need to do is let You lead

in Your shadow gladly stay

yet this wandering heart is anxious

looking for a chance to stray

 

hold me closer

bind me tightly

I hear the warnings

yet my heart is slightly

ever off balance

always failing

to reach the heights

you’d have me sailing

 

This heart that threatens

to pull me apart

I give it to You

I follow God’s heart

 


Leave a comment

Pink Elephants

pink elephant

 

Ever seen a pink elephant? No? Well, maybe in a cartoon or a children’s book. Seeing pink elephants was a way of saying that a person was delusional, or possibly had tossed back a few too many. But this little guy is the real deal. He is a very rare albino elephant spotted by tourists in Kruger National Park in South Africa. He could be in serious danger since his unique color makes him a target for predators. Surprisingly, the herd has accepted him. Indeed, the other adults don’t seem to notice that anything is different about him.

No one wants to be different. Most of us go thru life trying desperately to fit in because the truth is that those who don’t fit the mold of “normal”, won’t get many party invitations. If you look different, act different or think differently you will probably face a struggle for acceptance every day. Our society likes to think that we encourage individuality. Even within the church, we love to point out verses that tell us how we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Each one of us is as unique as a snowflake, as individual as our fingerprints are. Though we strive to teach our children to celebrate those differences, the sad truth is that being different can be very lonely.

I made a decision about twenty years ago that has impacted every area of my life. I decided that I had messed things up enough and it was time to let someone else take over. That “someone else” was Jesus and He has turned my thinking, actions and the way I see the world around me upside down. Everything is different now and I can see that reflected in how others look at me.

What might surprise you is that I am not so concerned with how my old family and friends treat me. They are actually quite respectful of my choices and I love them so much for that. It’s often how my church brothers and sisters look at me that can be hurtful. When I don’t view an issue exactly as they do, they will wait for that moment to “lovingly correct” me. As I get older and feel more secure in my relationship with Christ, such things do not bother me as much. I don’t need the approval of others as much as a “well done” from my Savior. However, I see the same concerned correction happening to the next generation as they try and stretch their wings. As much as I value the advice from experienced elder saints, I am put off by the smugness I have encountered and if I dare to admit it – sometimes shown myself. If only we could learn to respect the individual journeys that we are all on. Sometimes the mistakes we make are the very things that teach us the deeper lessons. So, I guess that while there are times to advise, there will also be times to keep my mouth shut. Oh Lord, I pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

For this God is our God for ever and ever, he will be our guide even to the end.

 Psalm 48:14

The definition of a Christian life should be one that is led, to the very end of his days, by Christ. Where He leads me is bound to be different from where He will lead another. Perhaps we are simply at different points on the path so our perspectives may look at different horizons. Rather than look to “correct” those who seem to follow a different path, let’s ask for discretion to know when to help and compassion to console when wrong turns are taken.

We are all different; fearfully and wonderfully made and loved by a God who won’t be put off if we are pink instead of gray. He will accept us as lovingly as the elephant herd accepts its “different” baby. Perhaps they have learned to look beyond the differences to a place where such things no longer register to their eyes. That, after all, is the way God sees us.

father child hands.


Leave a comment

The Better Angels of our Nature

violence at rallyOr Hope Lives Despite Ourselves….

Jesus warned us that a house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25). Abraham Lincoln echoed that thought in a famous speech during the American Civil War. But, sadly, this is a lesson that is difficult to learn. Mankind will continue to argue rather than talk, fight rather than discuss their differences. In this year’s presidential elections, candidates seem to prefer wallowing in mudslinging rather discussing the issues.  And all of this is a  reflection of the society that we ourselves have created. Haven’t we,over several generations, seen our artistic tendencies slide down towards expressions of the ugliness of mankind rather that the beauty? I think of the music, movies and television shows that glorify negative role models and make morality seem like a quaint oddity. Not that I am calling for a return to starched collars and measuring dress hems. Such surface civility only hides the ugliness of humanity which will bubble to the surface regardless of how we try to hide it.

We like to think that this unraveling of our society as something new but the problem stems from ancient times as evidenced in the Scriptures.

“The wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honored among men.” Psalm 12:8

And, honestly, if I had stopped reading at the end of Chapter 12 today, I would have been left saddened and discouraged. But I could feel my eyes being drawn to the next Psalm even as I tried to close the Book and end my morning reading. Actually it was my notes that were written in the margin, probably from some long forgotten sermon or study that caught me. I had written “the circumstances” next to verses one and two. David is crying out to God asking “How long, O God? Will you forget me forever?” It’s as easy today to blame the downward spiral of our culture on God as it was in David’s time.

The notation besides verses three and four read “the conflict as he focuses on circumstances”. He acknowledges that though things are going badly, he needs to turn to God for help (such a simple plea, “Give light to my eyes”). Finally, in verses five and six, “confidence as he focuses on God”.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” Psalm 13:5 and 6

This conflict has been ongoing for many centuries. David felt the struggle of sin’s grip on our world as he grappled with whether or not he would reach for God. Abraham Lincoln lived this battle as he tried to reunite a country bitterly divided. I wonder if he had read Psalms 12 and 13 before giving an inauguration speech in which he said:

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

He saw the brutality of war and was able to look ahead to hope. David, too, saw his pitiful circumstances yet looked upward towards hope. These men were followers of the One Most High and they knew where their focus had to be. Both men, living in such similar and yet vastly different circumstances, understood where hope comes from.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.” Hebrews 6:19

Even though David had not met Jesus, he understood Messiah. Mr. Lincoln, whose faith in Christ was strong in perilous times, knew there was hope for mankind despite the atrocities around him. Today, we can still see hope in the curtain of the sanctuary, in the cross of Christ and in the Scriptures He entrusted us with.

“O LORD, you will keep us safe.” Psalm 12:7

 5096_1197313732195_1677986_n